Do you take milk or sugar with that?
How about a snack? Pussy cupcake, perhaps?
Yes, Pussy.
Showing posts with label Freaks and Kinks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Freaks and Kinks. Show all posts
Monday, April 26, 2010
Afternoon Delight
Would you care for Tea? Earl Grey? Certainly.
Do you take milk or sugar with that?
How about a snack? Pussy cupcake, perhaps?
Yes, Pussy.
Do you take milk or sugar with that?
How about a snack? Pussy cupcake, perhaps?
Yes, Pussy.
Funerals are Fun!
The Chinese believe that a funeral is the benchmark of a family's status symbol. They blow off most of their savings just to have a glamorous funeral for all the nosy neighbors to see.
Guest count is also as important as having a pimped- out funeral. The number of mourners is directly proportionate to the family of the dead dude's popularity, status symbol and importance to the community.
So how do they draw the crowd to the boring, depressing tribute for the dead?
This new-age funeral practice is getting more and more common in the provincial regions of China. What ever happened to karaoke or contortionists for entertainment? Who am I kidding, pretty young thangs sexy dancing to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is a sure hit for any crowd, especially that of a male- dominated population! Who says you can't mourn and have a boner at the same time?
And see, the dead dude is smiling in the picture as we speak. Plus side of this, his wife hand- picked the sultriest stripper just for him. There is, indeed, heaven in the afterlife.
Guest count is also as important as having a pimped- out funeral. The number of mourners is directly proportionate to the family of the dead dude's popularity, status symbol and importance to the community.
So how do they draw the crowd to the boring, depressing tribute for the dead?
STRIPPERS!!!
This new-age funeral practice is getting more and more common in the provincial regions of China. What ever happened to karaoke or contortionists for entertainment? Who am I kidding, pretty young thangs sexy dancing to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is a sure hit for any crowd, especially that of a male- dominated population! Who says you can't mourn and have a boner at the same time?
And see, the dead dude is smiling in the picture as we speak. Plus side of this, his wife hand- picked the sultriest stripper just for him. There is, indeed, heaven in the afterlife.
Unfocused Sensate
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Believe me there's some things that I wouldn't miss
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss!
Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me I know what to do!
But something won't let me make love to you.
Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
I guess it's got something to do with luck!
But I waited my whole life for just one...
Sex is fucking overrated. Pfffftttt.
Monday, April 19, 2010
The Perfect Jeans
Sexy is BACK!!!
And it's not from the GAP.
The THONGKINI!
Testimonials:
"Men like it. Especially what's underneath."- Dionne, transvestite hooker at a dark alley
" It's not slutty! It's fashion revolution!" - Chelsea, high School student
"Uncomfortable as hell but it screams "I WANT TO GET LAID!!!". That's good enough for me."- Debbie, 43-year old virgin
Product Made in Japan.
Why am I not surprised?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Nerf for the Big Boys
Hand it to the freakishly brilliant Japanese to come up with technology that can make life much, much easier for mankind.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Blow Job Machine.
I wasn't actually surprised when I stumbled upon this. Heck, I was actually glad that finally, men actually realized that women do not want to do this for you!!! Not as much as you want them too, anyway. Which is every five minutes.
The good thing about the BJM is the controller. It has the slow/fast setting and it comes with different attachments that you can stick into the nozzle depending on your width, girth or what you fancy.
I'm actually surprised that the sex market rarely makes products for the pleasure of men. With all those whips, dildo's and freak machines available for the ladies, boys don't have much toys to play with.
Think about it! Is it because boys find these toys weird and emasculating? But it still doesn't make any sense because boys have more needs compared to girls. And boys who are in heat will DEFINITELY do something about it, no matter what the price is, with or without a partner. They just have too!
Or, ooohhh... (light bulb!) is it because women rarely get what they really want out of a man and there is a need for technology to intervene to satisfy their needs? The facts are there. The ratio between men and women's sex contraptions is 2, at best, to a thousand. Look it up. But GI Joe's to Barbie's are pretty much the same based on quantity and variety. So you can't say that boys don't like to play with dolls. They do, too.
I just answered my question. A+ for pure brilliance!
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Blow Job Machine.
I wasn't actually surprised when I stumbled upon this. Heck, I was actually glad that finally, men actually realized that women do not want to do this for you!!! Not as much as you want them too, anyway. Which is every five minutes.
The good thing about the BJM is the controller. It has the slow/fast setting and it comes with different attachments that you can stick into the nozzle depending on your width, girth or what you fancy.
I'm actually surprised that the sex market rarely makes products for the pleasure of men. With all those whips, dildo's and freak machines available for the ladies, boys don't have much toys to play with.
Think about it! Is it because boys find these toys weird and emasculating? But it still doesn't make any sense because boys have more needs compared to girls. And boys who are in heat will DEFINITELY do something about it, no matter what the price is, with or without a partner. They just have too!
Or, ooohhh... (light bulb!) is it because women rarely get what they really want out of a man and there is a need for technology to intervene to satisfy their needs? The facts are there. The ratio between men and women's sex contraptions is 2, at best, to a thousand. Look it up. But GI Joe's to Barbie's are pretty much the same based on quantity and variety. So you can't say that boys don't like to play with dolls. They do, too.
I just answered my question. A+ for pure brilliance!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Mongolian Wrestling Couture At Its Finest
The traditional wrestling costume includes an open-fronted jacket, tied around the waist with a string. This is said to have come into use after the champion of a wrestling competition many years ago was discovered to be a woman. The jacket was introduced to ensure that only men could compete. - WIKIPEDIA
The traditional wrestling costume is a baby pink bolero with a white tassel for a leaner, sexier look. The boots is handcrafted to perfection for maximum comfort without compromising style and elegance. This is said to have come into use after all the Mongolian wrestlers many years ago discovered that men can play around with other men IN A MANLY WAY and they can be so fashionable, too. THUS THE BIRTH OF METROSEXUALS. - KRISTINE NAVARRO
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